Dictionary of BS

This is taken from the 'Dictionary of BullShit' by Nick Webb. My kind of humour.

Customer service (np.)
With a few exceptions, companies lose interest after the sale. Nothing dramatises this more than the anguish of the telephone call you attempt to make after the newly acquired dishwasher or computer has gone wrong. The call will lead you to an automated voice management system designed to direct you with maximum speed to the right department. The phone will play you homogenised Mozart or - even worse - cover versions of rock 'n' roll. Every two minutes an automated voice will thank you for your patience and assure you that your call is important. You yell, but in voice management space there is nobody to hear you scream.
Public Relations/PR (np.)
Satan wasn't so bad; he just had a bad press. Corporations are similar. It's often easier to fix the perception of the problem than the problem itself.
Accountability (abstract n.)
A mysterious virtue that all politicians claim to possess until the time comes to demonstrate it.
Buy one, get one free (enduring sales pitch)
Buy twice as many as you want at a price that still gives the retailer a profit, if only because the supplier has been bullied into funding the promotion.
Designer (n. and adj.)
You can buy a pair of jeans in a supermarket for as little as £4, or you can pay 25 times that much for a "designer" pair. Both are made in factories in the Far East by nimble-fingered women and girls working long hours on minimal wages. Possibly they are made in the same factories. The difference between the jeans lies in the stitching over the pockets, possibly the weight of the cotton and certainly the boost to the self-esteem of those who can afford the expensive versions.
Instant classic (marketing hype)
An oxymoron. (in Dutch: 'pleonasme')
Grow as a person (v. phrase)
This is a good thing to do. Growing as something else would not be so good.